The Official Website of author Jaime Theler

Chapter One

Finding the Path

  A few years ago I was given the temporary assignment to serve dinner to the Relief Society sisters in the stake before the Women’s Conference broadcast. I felt a little out of my element because I had not even attended Relief Society in years, having happily served in primary since I first began going to a family ward. In addition, I was also new to this ward and stake and I didn’t know anyone, not even the other sisters behind adjoining tables serving with me.

  As I stood awkwardly in back of the long serving table, a little embarrassed by the garish “Serve With Love” apron—complete with an assortment of pink hearts both large and small—that I was asked to wear, I discovered I was much more comfortable with children than women. Safely separated by the table I stood behind, I watched the sisters greet each other fondly and sit down together, happily chatting. I not only felt like a fish out of water, but a fish out of water and in deep space.

  I decided that I could just slip out after I helped clean up, so after a quick bite in the corner, I lingered and continued cleaning up long after the other servers had found seats in the chapel. I wouldn’t feel quite so guilty leaving if all the work was done. The conference had already started, and from the gym where I wiped tables I could hear the other women singing the opening hymn.

  I really didn’t intend to stay, and now I can’t remember exactly why I turned into the chapel instead of heading out the door. I probably just decided that I might as well listen for a while since I was already there and, to be honest, at the very least it was a break from the kids. Unobtrusively I found a seat in the back at the end of a row, comfortably distant from anyone else. And then, with my “Serve with Love” apron wadded in my lap, I had one of those hit-you-over-the-head spiritual moments.

  Sheri L. Dew, then Second Counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency, gave a rousing address about the importance of the women in the Church and the need for us to stand tall. I was struck particularly hard by these words: “For though some would portray us as dowdy and dominated rather than the dynamic, radiant women we are, no woman is more persuasive, no woman has greater influence for good, no woman is a more vibrant instrument in the hands of the Lord than a woman of God who is thrilled to be who she is.”1

  I am afraid that the rest of the talks and songs of that Women’s Conference did not get my full attention. I was gripped by that powerful statement, which played again and again in my mind. As I reflected on it, I had to ask myself: Do I ever feel thrilled, excited, or ecstatic to be who I am? Do I find joy in being a daughter of God—right here, right now?

  I came to the painful conclusion that while I often felt content to be an LDS woman, so much of my life was dictated by routine and habit that I rarely paused to rejoice in my divinity. And I had to admit to myself that even sometimes I merely felt resigned to be me. I realized that I did not truly rejoice in who I was. Like most of us, I looked forward to and planned on having joy once I made it back to Heavenly Father, but I just wasn’t finding it on the way there.

  Sheri Dew’s statement is not limited to women. Men, youth, single adults, senior members, and children can be more dynamic, radiant, persuasive, influential, and vibrant instruments if they rejoice in who they are. But too many of us have a hard time finding genuine joy and enthusiasm in being righteous children of God. We often do not enjoy the journey.

  We all know people who are thrilled to be who they are and have joy right now. Others flock to them because their joy percolates into everything they do. Marie and Lowry Bishop are two such people who simply and unashamedly glow with joy. Their dedication and enthusiasm in doing the Lord’s work is well-known in my hometown. As long as I can remember I had no doubt they were genuinely happy to be members of the Church. They have a spark that draws others to them and they may very well be the most loved members of their ward, their stake, and the mission fields in which they served. The Bishops are thrilled to be who they are, they have joy because of this, and their actions reflect it.

  The joy we are talking about is often shown outwardly by enthusiasm in pursuit of righteous acts. President Spencer W. Kimball was well known for his gung-ho and nonstop approach to everything he did. He was asked repeatedly why he maintained a grueling pace, one that was hard for much younger men to maintain. Likewise, anyone who has had the opportunity to visit with President Hinckley or even listen to him speak would agree that he is thrilled to be a child of God doing the Lord’s work. And stories abound about the vigor, vitality, and enthusiasm of Joseph Smith as he served God and his fellow man. Both the New Testament and the Book of Mormon record striking examples of similar excitement and drive in Paul, Alma, and the sons of Mosiah (as evidenced by their fourteen-year mission among the Lamanites).

  Enthusiasm by itself, however, is generally short-lived. Many companies spend large amounts of money hiring motivational speakers to help their employees find the enthusiasm to go beyond the mundane, to set lofty goals, and then strive to reach them. Unfortunately, it is not unusual for the effects to wear off so that companies must provide a regular stream of “pep talks” to maintain the enthusiasm. Apparently, this is a state of mind that is challenging to reach, but even more difficult to sustain.

  So what is it that people like the Bishops, President Kimball, President Hinckley, Joseph Smith, Paul, Alma, and the Sons of Mosiah have that so many others don’t? Think about it. Not only do these people maintain their enthusiasm, but they often do it in the face of great adversity, bitter persecution, and grueling schedules. The key, obviously, is that their enthusiasm and joy flows from a spiritual font, not from profit margins, point spreads, recreational toys, etc. No motivational speaker can remotely match the vitality infused by the Holy Spirit.

  Motivational speakers do, however, understand at least one principle of enthusiasm—it is contagious and gains momentum as it is shared. Since all truth stems from Christ, it should come as no surprise that the Lord has asked His servants to let their light shine, to open their mouths, and to give every man a reason for the hope that is in them. Individuals like Joseph Smith and Paul understood this because they labored during their lives to share their joy, and the Lord accordingly blessed them with joy in the journey—during this life, not just joy at the final celestial destination. Ammon expressed these very feelings to his brothers, “Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full.”2

  Now while I can more clearly write about this now, my answer was much more elusive when I started the search. All I knew was I wanted—and was entitled to—more joy and happiness, but I wasn’t sure in what shape the answer would come or where I would find it. So, I began investigating different ways to accomplish this. It soon became obvious from the hundreds of available suggestions that I was not the only one searching for more happiness and joy. Some sources focused on self-esteem, giving me advice ranging from extreme makeovers, to changing my self-talk, to devoting more time to pamper myself. I tried implementing some of the sensible advice―like thinking positive or writing in a gratitude journal. These strategies helped but still fell short of producing the level of happiness I believed I should be feeling.

  I wanted to rejoice as Ammon. I wanted joy like he felt, but I was still struggling to find the answer in the middle of a torrent of suggestions. Finally, and mercifully, I was reminded of the actions of young Joseph Smith who was also confused and buffeted by the confusion raging around him. He read the scripture, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”3 In his history Joseph wrote, “I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know.”4

  And how to become a more enthusiastic, vibrant, righteous child of God who felt joy in being myself I did not know either. Joseph Smith turned to the divine source of all answers, and I realized I needed to as well.

In this book I share with you the answers the Lord has revealed to me about how to find a greater measure of joy and rejoice in being a child of God—for they are one and the same. I hope that in these pages you may find kernels of truth that will uplift and inspire you in your own quest to find joy in the journey.